April: 100 in 2013

This photo is missing two books. One I returned to its owner and one I misplaced somewhere in our house...

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver I read this book every few years and always in April. I'm grateful for parents who invested in us early the value of eating whole and healthy foods. (I remember the first time I had Kraft Mac and Cheese I was afraid my mom could just SMELL it on me...) One thing I love about Kingsolver's book, besides her always stellar voice, is the premise of this book, which is to eat whole, healthy, and locally. It's a discipline, and one which is much more difficult in the DFW metroplex, but supporting local farmers, businesses, and entrepreneurs is always worth it. I highly recommend this read (especially on the cusp of summer!)

Life After Art by Matt Appling Matt blogs at Church of No People and has reached out to me several times to just appreciate Sayable. Whenever I've read his thoughts I've been blessed to see the balanced and careful voice he brings to otherwise volatile conversations. In Life After Art, Matt talks about taking risks, living in beauty, and every person's design to create as we were created. I was encouraged to read this short book if only for my own creatively zapped soul. I'm in the middle of a very dry season creatively, partially because of the heavy demand to produce, this book just refreshed and reminded me of the Ultimate Creator.

Delighting in the Trinity by Michael Reeves Perhaps one of the most important books I'll read this year, this surprisingly easy to grasp book on the trinity will claim that spot. I came into the past few years with a fuzzy at best and faulty at worst view of the Trinity, and understanding it has absolutely transformed the way I pray, the way I trust, and the footsteps I follow. Reeves takes the complex mystery of the Trinity, holds it tightly in his capable hands, and turns it from every side to show the beauty of our communal God.

The Devil in Pew Number Seven by Rebecca Nichols Alonzo This was a quick read partially because the story is so riveting. Rebecca is growing up in a pastor's family in the south and things seemed idyllic until a nightmare reminiscient of something the KKK would do began. The most astounding part of this book, though, is not the horrific events of her childhood, but the forgiveness and joy she walks in currently. If you've ever experienced deep pain, I would just encourage you to read this simply for the testimony present.

The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis Somewhere in the past month I began to realize freshly that the enemy has it out for me. I don't know what it was, I knew I was busy and pressed from every side, but I was also just dealing with latent sin and spiritual laziness. I felt discouraged and disheartened with numerable things. I felt defeated around every corner and I was just sitting in it. One morning on my way to class I was thinking about this book and had a minor epiphany for my own life: the enemy is plotting against me and my home, planning and devising ways to knock me down. He hates me. He hates me. And he hates you. This short read is always a reminder of whose I am not, but also a reminder to be active in fighting the enemy.

The Silver Chair by C.S. Lewis This is my second favorite of the Narnia books principally because of Puddleglum, I'm not gonna lie. I mean, who doesn't love Puddleglum (much to his chagrin)?

Undercover Woman by Conway Edwards  (not available online) In doing some research together for a summer project, a friend of mine asked me to read this and give him three pros and three cons. I stumbled over the pros, to be honest. It was not the principles that I struggled with, but the projection present in this short book. I can't recommend this book because of some problematic things I noted; however, it was a good reminder of how important it is that we are under authority.

Glimpses of Grace by Gloria Furman I'm just so encouraged by how many books are being published for women about the worth of the gospel in their homes. Last month's Fit to Burst felt like an anomaly, but Gloria Furman has penned its equal! Glimpses of Grace takes the mundane, difficult, and joy-filled parts of life and points the reader full into the gospel at every turn. What a rich, rich treasure this book is. If you're a mama especially, please buy this book. I think it will encourage you deeply.

Thanks to Gloria Furman, Josh Overton, Alison Luna, Philip Bleecker, & Matt Appling for this month's books!

A Squeaky Wheel Comes Clean

It's strangely easy to be brave when nobody expects you to be. You are the deus ex machina, sweeping in and rescuing with your words, your actions, your bravado. But then the standing ovation comes and who can take a bow without feeling awkward and out of place?

Maybe you've noticed, or maybe you haven't, but it's been a little quiet around here. Or rather, it's been a little less than deep around here.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Here's what happened: a year ago this month I started working on a book and when you start writing a book people in the know start talking about your platform and your reach and whether there will be a market for your words. So instead of scribbling your words on scraps of paper and in the margins of life, crafting sentences while you drive and wait and walk, you instead start working on an author's lifeline: readers.

Did you know that the real worth of an author's work is not in her bound or published words? It's in how many people read those bound and published words. No one wants to say that of course, except the publishers when they're squabbling over whose mark will be on the binding. Everyone else still wants to talk about your words and how they are needed and unusual and pretty and pithy and such. But deep down you suspect the real worth of your words is what someone will pay for them.

Sometimes they will pay for them with their emotions and sometimes their pennies, but pay for them, they will.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A few someones have told me I am courageous and I look down at my person: can't they see this? This frail and fearful lot? Can't they see that whatever worth I have is not what I can do but Whose I am? I can put on a show, but the Author is the Finisher and the Principal Player.

I am studying Romans 6:13 this week, "Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness." The chapter is about sin and how we, like Christ, have died to sin—but what is sin if not the full spectrum of brokenness touching our every part? Hear me when I say I struggle to say fear is a sin, but whatever does not proceed from faith is sin, and fear is the lack of faith. See?

A year ago I took what had previously proceeded from faith and continued the work in fear: would I ever measure up? Would anyone important ever read me? What constituted success? Would I know it when it came? Would anyone care about a book if I even wrote it?

And now here I am, people expecting me to be brave and confident, to have the words and the theology and the answers, and the truth is, dear readers, I spent more time presenting myself to you than to God this year. Or at least more energy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not discouraged. I can trust He is actually the God in the Machine and I am simply a gear or a bolt, or more likely a squeaky wheel or rusty washer, and we can move on from here (hopefully). I am not brave and I am not strong and I am not whatever good thing you think I am.

I'm just one person with words inside of me about a God I love and Who loves me and that's the only story I have to tell.

And for His glory I want to tell it well.

February: 100 in 2013

The Brothers K // David James Duncan I talked about this book a lot while I was reading it, and everyone kept assuming I was talking about The Brothers Karamazov; I was not. The Brothers K came highly recommended to me by several people when I asked for suggestions, and though I was surprised I'd never even heard of it before, I put it on the list. This book will go down as one of the finest I've ever read. It is not a complex story, but it is a long one, and a beautifully told one. It's simply the story of a family. I don't know how else to describe it. That's what it is. It's 700 pages of fear, angst, beauty, love, hurt, joy, pain—all wrapped in one family. I have never been so sad to turn a last page.

Girls Like Us // Rachel Lloyd Our new graphic designer and I are working on a toolkit to hand out to the myriad of people who ask, "I care about sex-trafficking, but what can I do about it?" As part of this project, I'm researching helpful books. One such book is Rachel Lloyd's memoir of her life in the illegal sex business juxtaposed with her life now working in New York city for GEMS: Girls Educational and Mentoring Services. I especially appreciate Rachel's story because she's a perfect example of how girls with no money and little education are trafficked easily. Prostitution is not low-life girls who enjoy sex—there is nothing about that life that is simple or enjoyable, and Rachel clearly illuminates this while educating her readers.

Wordsmithy // Douglas Wilson One of the quickest reads so far, and partially because Wilson is such a brilliant writer you can't help but drink his words quickly. Especially great, because this is a book about writing. And it has now topped my list of recommended reads for aspiring writers. There is no hint of ego or assumption in this, it is filled with tips, book recommendations, quick punchy quips, and makes no bones about the fact that writing is often a long hike up a high mountain where the only view at the top is simply a better one of the world. Excellent.

Prince Caspian // C.S. Lewis This has always been my least favorite of the Narnia series, and this time through was no different. I'll assume most of you have read it, or will at some point read it, so I won't belabor the point: sometimes you have to suffer through your least favorite Narnia book because you said you'd read all of them.

Treehouses of the World // Pete Nelson When I was small I would watch Swiss Family Robinson JUST for the treehouse scenes. I'm not even kidding. I would fast-forward through all the other scenes just so I could study the construction of the most epic treehouse ever made. When I saw this book at Barnes and Noble on the cheap rack, I nabbed it immediately. The book highlights over 50 treehouses all over the US, giving their brief background, construction details, images, and some personal stories. It's a keeper.

Brothers, We Are Not Professionals // John Piper I've already written a full review on this one which you can read here.

The Weight of Glory // C.S. Lewis One of the better habits I've adopted through this project is holding a pencil in one hand as I read (courtesy of Tony Reinke's Lit which I read last month). Good thing, too, because I marked up this copy pretty good. Among my favorite essays this time through were Inner Ring and Membership, perhaps because of the juncture in life at which I am, I don't know. I'm grateful, though, for Lewis's poignant and truthful words never leaving me without conviction.

Gospel Deeps // Jared Wilson Contrary to popular assumption, I don't actually read that many blogs, about ten on average, and Jared's has not left the list in about three years. His book Gospel Wakefulness was deeply impacting to me in my own journey toward understanding the gospel. As my pastor said in the foreword to the book, "People tend to understand the width of the gospel, in that they understand Jesus and the cross, but they have trouble with the depth of the gospel, struggling to see how it informs and shapes every aspect of our lives." This book kept me marveling at the depths of the gospel all the way through, keeping me turning the pages, stopping at time to weep with gratefulness or find joy in the fullness of grace.

Special thanks to those of you who gifted books I read this month for 100 in 2013 (Geoffrey Swyka, Alison Luna, Mallory Bumgarner, Philip with-no-last-name =) ).

But I'm Not a Brother!?

When the good folks at B&H Books asked me to read and review the updated and expanded version of Brothers, We Are Not Professional: A Plea to Pastors for Radical Ministry, first I said, "But I'm not a brother." Then I said, "Also, I'm not a pastor." Doesn't matter, came the reply, both read your blog. And so this is how it came to be that I added BWANP to one of the twelve coveted open spots for 100 in 2013. I'm glad too, because this is less a book to brothers only or pastors only, but to all followers of Christ. Never have I read a more succinct, helpful, scripturally soaked treatise than this. Every page abounds with references to the Word and reminders of the gospel. Every suggestion is bolstered by scripture and every challenge is backed up firmly. I closed each chapter knowing with more certainty the call of Christ is one of coming and dying. It helps that the author is such an accomplished writer as well. Many can say these words, but saying them with eloquence is another matter altogether.

Much has been written on the original book already, so I'm not going to spend much time there. Instead, I'd like to just highlight a few things from some of the added chapters.

Brothers, God Does Make Much of Us: I am deeply grateful for this chapter specifically because often "Making Much of God" can shove aside the fact that we are deeply, deeply loved by God. With five points given to how God loves us and seven points given to how He makes much of us, it would be difficult for a reader to walk away feeling that they are only a puppet in a Master's play.

Brothers, God is the Gospel: Gospel has become a bit of a buzzword in recent years, and though I don't think that means we ought to find a replacement, I do think it's a great opportunity for us to relearn, or recalibrate on what is the gospel. In God is the Gospel, there are laid out very clearly the components of a correct understanding of what the gospel is. In some measure we will only see in part until we see face to face, but in the meantime we ought to clearly grasp and communicate what it is the Gospel is until that day.

Brothers, Pursue the Tone of the Text: Recently someone described a certain conversation in my church circles as "tone-deaf" and it happened to be at the same time that I read this chapter. This chapter was somehow written tonefully, to coin a word; it sounded like music and I don't think that was an accident. The message of the Gospel is hope, yet so often our pulpits are filled with cheap substitutes or pounding diatribes. Here the author reminds us that hope is full of joy, but sometimes the joy is eventual—so we ought to be mindful of our tone. Sorrow can lead to joy, but only if we sorrow according to those who have hope.

Brothers, Act the Miracle: The author confesses his most besetting sins and does not offer a four step program to defeat them, but instead illuminates the power of the cross over them. He reminds Christians that our sins have been canceled, and so therefore they may be conquered, while too often we do the latter in an attempt for God to do the former. This was my favorite chapter as this is one of my besetting sins.

There is much to be gleaned from this book and I highly, highly recommend it to anyone, pastors or new believers, mothers or children. It's a book about being a disciple who makes disciples and this is the call on us all. It would be appropriate to go through with a small group. I even think it could be tailored to be appropriate to go through in family devotions. The chapters are short enough and structured in such a way that discussion points could be simplified and filtered for differing audiences.

You can purchase a copy here: Brothers, We Are Not Professional: A Plea to Pastors for Radical Ministry by John Piper

100 in 2013

Some of you have asked for my 2013 reading plan and so here are a few quick thoughts, as well as the booklist. 1. I don't have time to read 100 books in 2013. I didn't have time in 2012, and I don't foresee ever having the time to commit to such a project. If you know me at all, you know the possibility of failure is rarely a reason to not try something. Mumbo-jumbo about not setting yourself up for failure has never appealed to me much and so there is a very real possibility that I will hit March or September and get plumb tuckered out. I hope that doesn't happen, but I won't feel too badly if it does. The point is, I'm going to try.

2. On the suggestion of Mathew Sims, who reads voraciously—and blogs about what he reads, I scheduled the books out for the entire year. I will be reading, on average, eight books a month, with three books being spread out through the whole year (The Love of God by DA Carson, The Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster, and Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem). The goal of this project is not to cover my bases on what's hot or not in various genres, the goal is to read and reread books that have piqued my interest. I have one or two books from each of these sections per month: fiction/novel, theology, non-fiction/essay, memoir/biography, children's lit/young adult. No book is too short, some books are too long. Some are rereads, some I've never heard of before.

3. I top-loaded the second and last quarter, and made the first and third quarters a bit lighter. Because of my commitments elsewhere (work, Church, home. etc.), I knew that I would need to have lighter reading happening especially in the first quarter of this year. The quantity is still around eight a month, but the quality is a bit lighter.

4. I tried as much as possible to group like books in the same month. For example, one month I'll be reading Crooked Little Heart by Anne Lamott, Living in Fiction by Annie Dillard, Evangelical Feminism by Wayne Grudem, Practical Theology for Women by Wendy Aslup, Bossypants by Tina Fey (this was my roommate's suggestion when I told her I wanted to read a few pop-culture books...), West With the Night by Beryl Markham, and The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom. This will be a month that I'll be focusing on the role of women in the church, the world, the culture, and in literature.

5. I made a spreadsheet of all the books, color coded them by books I already owned, planned to buy, would need to borrow from a friend or the library, or were work related. This way I could begin to budget my finances and my time in order to have the books on hand at the beginning of each month.

6. I read best when I read straight through a book. I'm a fast reader so this works for me. However, there are some books here that I want to read more slowly and so I'll have two piles each month: one pile will be the books I read over the course of the month and one pile will be the books I'll read in one or two sittings. Think of this like snowballing your debt, get the little ones done first so you can give the bigger ones their due time.

7. When I was in high-school reading 100 books a year was the norm. I've always been a voracious reader, but it's only been in recent years that my book reading has lessened and my online article reading has increased. Part of the reason I'm doing this is because 2012 was a beating in the online blogosphere. Controversy abounded and I was wiped out. I began to see places in my mind that weren't bearing much fruit because of what occurred online and the speed at which opinions were bandied. So this is my small attempt to step back, do what I love (read in quiet), and reap a different reward.

Pray for me if you think about it. I'll be writing a blog at the end of each month with a short blurb about each book completed that month so you can follow along with me!

Letters to Me: Conversations With a Younger Self

At the beginning of the year Dan Schmidt approached me about contributing an essay to his upcoming compilation: Letters to Me. Dan has been an encouraging cheer-bringer to me for the past few years concerning my writing projects and I was excited about joining the stellar lineup of writers and thinkers he compiled. The letters in this book will make you want to shake the shoulders of the writers, hug the writers, chastise the writers, and simply Love God More. But don't take my word for it:

There is something maddeningly compelling about this book. You want to leap into its pages and shake some sense into the characters just like you’re reading a page-turning novel, except that it’s real life and if you could somehow grab them by their shoulders, you would realize you were staring yourself in the face. The talent of these storytellers is revealed in how universal their personal stories are. In their stories you will experience agony and joy, pain and healing, fall and redemption. –Adam S. McHugh, author Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture

Reading them will make you think and imagine a better life — maybe even give you the courage to live one. —Jeff Goins, author, Wrecked: When a Broken World Slams into Your Comfortable Life

I sat down to read this book and found myself so encouraged and strengthen through the community built around life in these stories that I only stopped when I reached the end of the book. These stories are my story. And they're probably your stories. Dan Schmidt talks about "evidence of grace weaves through many of these letters" and it's these threads that strengthen you. Matthew Sims, blogger

Its wisdom does not shame; its humility inspires because these lessons are from real people. Allison

Some of the most beautiful stories I've ever read. Dorea Luther

If you'd like to purchase a copy, you can by clicking on this link. And I'd be so grateful if you did! 

(Some of you have asked about some of the names I'm listed alongside, feel free to email me if you have questions about that—I'd love to actually dialogue with you about my reasons instead of any assumptions getting in the way here. God's glory, our joy!)

I STACKED UP TEN BOOKS

A fellow blogger has taken on the mammoth task of blogging through her bookshelves all this week—and I admire her for it! I wish I was able to do the same, but alas, most of my books have found themselves on the bookshelves of others and so I'm left with my measly top ten.

(Full disclosure: in writing this down tonight, I'm mostly procrastinating on the other writing I'm supposed to be doing. But I'm hoping that this small exercise will get my fingers moving in the right direction. Also, if you buy one of these books after clicking off my site, I might make a penny or two of that sale. So if enough of you buy, I might be able to get a snow-cone next week.)

These are not in any sort of order, except the order in which I thought they looked the prettiest all stacked on top of one another. Call me OCD or call me an artist, I think they're interchangeable.

A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L'Engle
This was the first piece of creative memoir I ever read, back in high-school. It set the stage for every single thing I have written since. Every sentence of mine has been crafted through the sieve of Madeleine's books, fiction and non-fiction. Her Crosswicks Journals are my favorite four of her books, of which this is one.

Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner
I read this book in about two sittings, a rarity for a Winner book (Girl Meets God, Real Sex, etc.). It was probably the first book I ever read on theology and perhaps the one which tempers me back, draws me in, and helps me to find some medium of faithfulness to the small things when my nature is to shout Grace! more loudly than anything else.

Mere Churchianity by Michael Spencer
This book was recommended to me by Jared Wilson (who wrote one of the books further down) as the closest book he could recommend for a memoir[ish] about someone who'd experienced what his book called Gospel Wakefulness. I only just recently read it, but Spencer's story and thoughts on being in church for decades and only fully understanding the gospel recently resonated very strongly in me. It's not memoir, but it could be.

The Valley of Vision, a book of puritan prayers
For several years, while my mind was teetering on the edge of dangerous thoughts and my soul was tempered with a form of the gospel, and not the fullness of it, my wise mentor and friend would have me take these prayers and rewrite them in my own words. There has been no discipline better for my fingers or my soul than this. So often my spiritual problem is that I cannot say the words that are simmering deeply in me, these prayers unlocked those words.

The Sacred Journey by Frederick Buechner
This book is more yellowed, written in, and falling apart than any of my books. I have read and reread it numerous times, each time more captured by his fluid sentences and depth of story. Buechner is one of my favorite authors, but this book stands apart from all the rest as he tells the story of his life and faith.

Desiring God by John Piper
I have not so much read this book as absorbed it. I have "been reading"  it for years, still unfinished. The concept that God is most glorified when we are most joy-filled, and that our fullness of God comes from seeing the glory of God has absolutely, unequivocally changed my life. And it changes it yearly, weekly, daily, moment by moment. At every moment when my joy lacks, it is easily found in Him. At every moment when my joy is found, it is easily found in more fullness of Him.

Jesus, My Father, the CIA, and Me by Ian Morgan Cron
This book, to me, is so much like The Sacred Journey in so many ways. I saw it on a bookshelf at Barnes and Noble and stood there reading it for over an hour. I could not put it down until I inched nearer and near to the end, which is when I began reading it as slowly as I could to make it last. The last several chapters of this book have profoundly affected me recently.

Somewhere More Holy by Tony Woodlief
I would like to tell you that I love this book because Tony is a friend or because I know what this book meant to his family, but the truth is that I loved this book, wept through this book, healed from this book long before I knew Tony at all. When we finally did become friends, I had to confess that a year after I bought the book, it was still sitting on my side table, teaching me things, reading me as much as I have read it.

Gospel Wakefulness by Jared Wilson
If there is only one book on this list that I recommend to every person, it is this one. I say that because of these words by D.A. Carson, "The first generation loved the gospel, the second generation assumed the gospel, and the third generation hated the gospel." Whoever we are, we are one of those people, and every one of us needs the gospel more and more every day. I do not know of a better book to commend for that purpose but this one.

The Complete Stories by Flannery O'Connor
You didn't think I'd forget this one, did you? I don't care who you are, you ought to have read Flannery O'Connor. In one of these stories we find ourselves, a putrid, filthy mirrored reflection or a stark, staggering realization, it's there. I do not know of a better communicator of the state of the heart than dear Flannery.

Bonus:
A Two-Part Invention by Madeleine L'Engle
Here's another one of her Crosswick's Journals and my second favorite of all her books. This one is about her marriage and family. Beautiful.

Okay, what about you? What are your top ten books? Blog them or comment below! I'd love some new recommendations (even though, I confess, I read the same books over and over and over again...). 

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