Every summer I take a minute and say thank you to all of you. When I started the first iteration of Sayable back in 2001, I was writing at LiveJournal on a beast of a computer in a closet of the library of the home I lived in. Our family was falling apart at the seams, I was six hours from everything I had known my entire life, my brother was just killed in an accident, and my parents were about to go through one of the worst divorces and custody battles I've ever seen.
I had no idea what I was doing plucking away at those grey boxy keys sixteen years ago, writing words about strawberries and a poem I loved and mourning and the color green. I had no idea that Sayable was going to become one of the most sanctifying agents of my life, that on her I would wrestle through doubt, faith, life, the gospel, church, theology, relationships, humiliation, shame, fear, regret, joy, pain, sorrow, celebration, and more. I did not know that she would also be a place where I would come to see the goodness of Father, the sufficiency of the Son, and the help of the Holy Spirit. I did not know how faithful and gentle and kind and loyal all of you readers would become. And I could never have known, most of all, what a gift Sayable would been to me. I hope she has been that to you, but I know she has been that to me. So really, in a way, by writing here for you, you have given me the gift of listening, and I'm so grateful to you.
I have Sayable set up so she doesn't get comments, but so you can email me instead, and I do this on purpose. I don't want Sayable to be a place where discussion happens as much as I want it to be a place you take what you read here and discuss with people in your own life, agreements or disagreements. I also don't want to need your affirmation in order to feel the legitimacy of writing—comments and analytics can often become this for bloggers. I also want you to know, I read every single email that comes in. There are a lot of them, hundreds of thousands of them, and I read every single one. It is one of my greatest sources of ache that I do not have the margin to reply to all of them—I carry that burden gladly because I think it's good for one who communicates to know it is not to a vast unknown, but to specific people with specific cares and concerns and joys and fears. You are people. You are not just the Internet.
And I am grateful for you, every one of you. By name, from just this week so far: Deb, Sharon, Carol, Emma, Beth, Rob, Megan, Jeffery, John, Alyssa, Carol, Emily, Grace, Alana, Mike and Pat, Amy, Lottie, Ellen, Steve, Mike, Wendy, Edward, Fran, Joy. I read all of your words today and I ache to respond. And last week, all of those words more of you wrote, and the week before, and month before. All of the words, I read them, thank you for trusting me with them. I can only respond to a few of you, but I do want to say thank you.
Sayable is for you. It is first and foremost for God, but I hope someday you think to yourself, 'Man, I read something a few years ago that really stuck with me, that helped me to see God and myself better. I can't remember who wrote it and it doesn't really matter, because my sight is so consumed with Christ partially because of those words." I hope you can't remember the name Sayable and certainly not my name, but you remember the name and renown of God. That would make all those years of plucking away on gray boxy keys worth it to me.
Today I wanted to share the writings of some others. You won't have to mine very deep to find something beautiful and true and good in each piece. Enjoy!
Nate and I are reading these books this week: