There is a paralyzing fear that grips the temples of its captive and pounds in every step in every direction. It is a paralyzing fear built of doubt. It creeps in slowly at first, comes with indecision and an inability to make a firm and stayed plan. It strangles slowly, giving credence to two good options or the lesser of two evils. It tightens its grip, bringing with it death that sounds like, "What if I'm messing up my life [or someone's life] by making this decision?"
This fear is verbalized as a doubt in oneself: am I making the right decision? Am I doing the right thing? Am I changing the course of my life with this choice?
But we know that whatever doesn't proceed from faith is sin and where should our faith be borne but God?
This paralyzing fear is nothing more than idolatry on stilts.
It is the course of our life (a mere vapor, dew on the morning grass; vanity of vanities, the preacher said) set high on faulty holds. It is the person we'll marry perched atop a totem. It is the person for whom we'll vote sitting on the tip of a flagpole. It is this school or that school, this church or that church, this place or that place wrapped into a head and set upon a body. It is the idol of self and it is passing away.
If God is Creator and we are the created, then we trust Him to be creative with our lives—even in unexpected and surprising ways. Even in ways that cannot be figured on graph paper or whiteboards. If God is God and we are mere mortals, flesh, dew on the morning grass, than the only master plan that matters is His. He has no plan B.
And your Plans A, B, and C will fail anyway, trust me, and I'll pray it's sooner rather than later. You're welcome.
So here is what we do:
We eat, we drink, we go into this city, we leave this place, we make His name great right where we are, we make His name great in the place He calls us to next, we delight, we find joy, we breathe.
We make decisions born of faith in Him, not in us.
We commit to life because of Him, not because of our convenience.
We marry to reflect His nature, not because we don't want to be lonely.
We commit to our church because she is His bride, not because she is always beautiful.
We covenant in life because we know the end of the story and, for Christ, it is already finished, and so for His children it is too.
Go make a hard decision today. Go and do it in peace.
He is not only with you, He is for you.