I have never been one to listen to the writing coaches who say to "write through the fear" or "face the blank page and just write." I'm more of a start five paragraphs and erase every single character because I can't believe such drivel exists inside of me and then go into a quiet room and stare at the ceiling for three hours. You think I'm kidding, I'm not. Perfectionism, anyone? My default is to just give one of those generic "this is what's going on in life" sort of posts and I placate my perfectionism by saying, well, the folks at home, see? Or, well, linking up to interesting content is kind. Or, well, what else am I suppose to do?
The truth is that it's fear, though, plain and simple. It's fear that keeps me from posting anything and fear that drives me to post anything at all. I'm not asking for you to analyze that (I have good, wise people who address this fungus of my soul often and without fear, thanks.), I'm just telling you so that you can know that I'm built of fear, through and through. Books can't be judged by their cover and neither can people, which is what I think that idiom was intended to mean anyway.
So here's a cover, judge away:
I don't read a lot of blogs. I just find that my soul gets bogged down if I'm spreading it thin and there are so many blogs and so many opinions and I want to give the best part of me to real live relationships as much as possible. This means that my google reader gets thinned out often and only the staples remain. One of those those staples is a brilliant teacher of the word from my church, Jen Wilkin. Her most recent post illustrates perfectly why I'm continually rooting out the extra voices in life.
I also clicked over to Allison Vesterfelt's blog this week when she wrote about how she handles conflict with her husband. I'm not married, obviously, but every good story contains conflict and my life isn't without it. So this post encouraged me to live palms up.
Emily Freeman is new to my feed reader, but I'm loving everything she puts out. This recent post on envy hit me squarely mostly because I don't think of myself as someone who struggles with envy, but this week, oh friends, this week the green monster has hitched an unwelcome ride on my shoulders. Her post was timely and good.
My church just put out a single of Come to Me, sung by the lovely Lauren Chandler. I've been listening to a rough copy recorded by one of my sound guy friends for a few months, but now that it's real and legit, I'll be listening more. So good.
I'm a sucker for hymns. I love singing theology because I love singing what IS true instead of what I want to be true or wish to be true. This version of Well With My Soul has been playing constantly this week.
My yankee roommate is pretty amazing. I don't know if I tell you guys that much. But she is. One of the best people in my life. She's good at asking questions and she's good at just sitting beside me when my soul doesn't need counsel, just friendship. The other day she brought home the best chocolate known to man and this clinched the bestness of her.
A year ago I took on the task to start tweeting through The Valley of Vision, a book of prayers that has encouraged me and discipled me (if it's possible for a book to do that). As with most things I do in life, I lost steam quickly. But people kept following and retweeting and I felt like it was a shame to let it go entirely. Enter Bliss Spillar, a fellow tweeter and VOV lover! He'll be helping out over there and is already doing a great job. So I love that. For sure.
Went to go see Moonrise Kingdom, wore the only thing Scoutish I owned, a shirt I made a few years ago with a tie around the neckline. Love the movie. Didn't stop grinning through the entirety of it. I'm serious.
One of my lovely girls from home, played a show with Seryn in Dallas last week. It was special to see her playing alongside one of my favorite bands; it was special to bring all my DFW friends to meet her. But it was most special to just SEE her. We spent the next morning together just laughing, crying, praying, and loving one another. I love that girl.
I love my job. Have I mentioned that recently? I really love my job. This image was snapped recently while we were setting up for a viewing of Goodnight, Red Light, a documentary we filmed about human trafficking in India. I hate trafficking and this is almost entirely why I love my job.
Last night Matt finished up a six month series we've been doing at church on Galatians. It has been one of the most challenging and pastoring series I've ever walked through and I'm so glad that I have another few months of walking through it with my homegroup as we finish up the material. Listen to this series, friends, seriously, listen.
That's all folks. Long enough? Got my fingers moving, that's for sure!