I'm weary. Can I be honest?

I'm weary.

I'm tired as soon as I wake up in the morning and I'm tired long before I turn my light out at night. I'm tired of being and doing and having and knowing and I'm tired of being tired of those things.

In the past two years the gospel has felt oh, so near to me. It has been such a deep well to me and a rich source of joy for me. And, to be honest, I'm confused. I'm confused about why my heart feels so cold these days, so far from Jesus, and so indifferent to the Holy Spirit. He has and continues to abound with grace and goodness toward me, so why the weariness?

The truth is I don't know. I don't have an answer. I want to be spiritual and hope-filled and talk about the valleys of faith and how we have to experience the valley to find joy on the mountain or some other Christian-speak. But I have been doing this long enough to know knowing isn't enough.

So this is what I'm doing in my valley: I'm just being weary and I'm being okay with being weary.

There is one thing you can do in a valley you can't do on peaked mountaintop: you can walk a level path, a flat one, one made for the weary. And I'll take it. Today I'll take it.

I'm listening to Come to Me a lot these days.
(Written by our stellar worship team.)

Weary burdened wanderer
there is rest for thee
At the feet of Jesus
In His love so free

Listen to his message
Words of life, forever blessed
Oh thou heavy laden
Come to me, come and rest

There is freedom, taste and see
Hear the call, come to Me
Run into His arms of grace, 
Your burdens carried, He will take

Bring Him all thy burdens 
All thy guilt and sin
Mercy's door is open
Rise up and enter in

Jesus there is waiting
Patiently for thee
Hear him gently calling
Come oh, come to Me

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