Unpacking yesterday’s post:
I read once in a book four things to remember about who you marry.
If you marry, you marry a sinner. That is, you cannot escape the sheer fact that your spouse will sin against you and in front of you. He or she will fail you time and time again in certain areas. You will feel acutely the weight of their sin by the fact that covenant have made you one.
If you marry, you marry a man/woman. You marry someone who is perfectly designed to be just that. Ill-equipped, very literally, to be anything but what they are created to be. And that means that he may not understand why you fuss with makeup, but will probably appreciate it. And you may not understand why he grunts on the bench-press, but you'll appreciate it too. He won't want to share every detail of his day and you won't won't understand his primal urges. That's okay. You're not supposed to be the same.
If you marry, you'll be married to a husband/wife. This means, simply, that wives, you ought to respect and submit to your husband, not to every man who has leadership gifts. And husbands, you're called to love and cherish your wife, not every girl who looks at you with doe eyes and is needy. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't want to join together in helping your single sisters and brothers out, but intrinsically, you're weren't meant to do that with every man or woman. Just your one.
If you marry, you marry a person. A real, live, living, breathing, thinking human being. With feelings. And needs. Some as simple as eating three times a day, some as complicated as being heard thoroughly and fully. But it's a person. Just that. A person. Simple.
I'm writing this because I see a tendency among singles in churches: we're getting our emotional, spiritual, mental, and sometimes physical fill within the context of community and it's keeping us just satiated enough that many men are putting off seeking wives and women are feeling frustrated by the feeling of "putting themselves out there."
Stop seeking perfection in your future or present spouse: reflect the image of God, live a fruitfilled and multiplying life, and marry the one who is not perfect, but the one perfectly crafted for you.