No matter how healthy our theology, we always come face to face with the God of our reality.

What I mean by this is that reality is the most raw way of showing us what we think about God. I once read Tozer who said something like this: "The most important thing about you is what you think about God." He was a smart man.

Because it is only when we are face to face with the caricature God we've made or the feeble God we imagine or the angry God we're sure He is, that we realize the depth of ourselves.

And our sin of making small.

I might argue that the second most important thing about us is how grand we think God is. Augustine said that the root of every sin is a disordered love and what else is a small view of God but the ultimate disorder?

But why why why is it so easy to assume that He isn't concerned with us? Our joy? Our happiness? Our creativity? Our intimacy? Our faith and our faithlessness?

When my eyes behold what my heart believes and my actions indicate about what I think about God, I am humbled. Because somewhere along the way I've bought the lie that I still have to do this on my own, that I still have to make it happen, and that He will not come through for me.

The truth about God, though, is nothing we're experiencing right now is out of his eye, nothing we're doubting right now is out of His knowledge, nothing we're scrambling for right now is out of His control.

What we think about ourselves ultimately reveals what we think about God.