Yesterday I sent an email to a friend who's on the other side of the world, some city in China better left unnamed. I said something about never staying in the same place twice and post-it note reminders stuck to God's forehead. I said stuff about foreign soil and how everything really is, because none of it is really home.
Last night I swallowed the cost and the time and went to see The Nativity Story. I bawled. Not cried, mind you, but wreaking sobs that hurt my heart. I recommend it for the fresh realization that the King of Kings arrived in the lowliest of circumstances. And what is my life that I think it cannot be useful for the Kingdom?
Today I walked out of my last class of the semester. I suppose it should be this exhilarating feeling--finishing. I suppose I should feel on top of the world and ready to take it on, and ready to spread my wings and fly sort of feeling. Some of my friends were celebrating this class as the last class of their undergraduate career--I have another semester before that feeling traps me.
Tonight a friend called and told me to find the moon. It took a few minutes to find a place high enough, but I roughed the shivers and the walk and it was worth it.
In three days it will be my twenty-sixth birthday. I'm not one for birthday accolades or fishing for greetings and such. The only reason I mention it is to remind myself and every other idealistic person out there that even though really none of the things I thought I would accomplish by this age have been accomplished, all the of the endeavors on which I've embarked have been the sort that cause me to scratch my head and question my ability to see straight and walk straight, but have also caused me to be glad that we can make plans, but our hope is in Him. Hoping in time, circumstances, or hope itself yields fruit of a dissatisfying sort.
This month at home I'm promised that we'll put the heavy on the contents of this Tupperware bin in the corner of my bedroom. It has slowly been filling with options for post-graduation: Grad schools, job openings, teaching positions, non-profit writing opportunities, and the such. Thrilling stuff, I know. It will no longer be a stack of options soon, though, it will be a stack that contains the determiner for the next chapter of my life. Scary.
Last night I swallowed the cost and the time and went to see The Nativity Story. I bawled. Not cried, mind you, but wreaking sobs that hurt my heart. I recommend it for the fresh realization that the King of Kings arrived in the lowliest of circumstances. And what is my life that I think it cannot be useful for the Kingdom?
Today I walked out of my last class of the semester. I suppose it should be this exhilarating feeling--finishing. I suppose I should feel on top of the world and ready to take it on, and ready to spread my wings and fly sort of feeling. Some of my friends were celebrating this class as the last class of their undergraduate career--I have another semester before that feeling traps me.
Tonight a friend called and told me to find the moon. It took a few minutes to find a place high enough, but I roughed the shivers and the walk and it was worth it.
In three days it will be my twenty-sixth birthday. I'm not one for birthday accolades or fishing for greetings and such. The only reason I mention it is to remind myself and every other idealistic person out there that even though really none of the things I thought I would accomplish by this age have been accomplished, all the of the endeavors on which I've embarked have been the sort that cause me to scratch my head and question my ability to see straight and walk straight, but have also caused me to be glad that we can make plans, but our hope is in Him. Hoping in time, circumstances, or hope itself yields fruit of a dissatisfying sort.
This month at home I'm promised that we'll put the heavy on the contents of this Tupperware bin in the corner of my bedroom. It has slowly been filling with options for post-graduation: Grad schools, job openings, teaching positions, non-profit writing opportunities, and the such. Thrilling stuff, I know. It will no longer be a stack of options soon, though, it will be a stack that contains the determiner for the next chapter of my life. Scary.
posted by Lore at 5.12.06
2 Comments:
tupperware container?
how classy.
I know another person who happens to celebrate his birthday one the same day you do. He's having many similar thoughts about where he thought he'd be at this monumental age - 30. At least you're still younger than him. ;)
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