The achy feeling of the habitual winter flu has touched this person's joints--it explains the mood and tiredness of the past few days a little more easily I hope. So I curl in a fleece blanket, accompanied by a little sister, a dose of medicine and a favorite movie, and wish away the headache and sore throat.
It's not just the cold though, mind you, it's a multitude of things weighing in on a discontent soul. Decisions, circumstances, dreams, desires, talents, responsibility, experience, and hopes--all these things that I know are within the hand of a sovereign God, but feel so heavy in the hand of me. My favorite line from this favorite movie, "I should have been a great many things, Mr. Major," is the line that comes most quickly to my lips these days when presented with question we are all asked from kindergarten on.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
It takes a different shape these days, since graduation is the change most pressing on my schedule. Sometimes it is accompanied by the wish that I should just come home; other times it is accompanied by the encouragement to explore the world and all its depths. A few times it has been sidled next to a exhortation to hear the Lord; sometimes its only companion is a nod and a smile--the questioner has been in these same shoes before.
It's not that I don't know the things that I want, I do. I have clear ideas and plan Bs and Cs and a plethora of options and intentions galore. It's that I've learned the hard way that my plans are rarely God's plans and hardly ever the things I end up doing anyway. It is easier now to, like David, pick up five stones and trust that one will do the job.
But today's job is singular, and tomorrow's too: To do the will of my Father. Perhaps someday I will look back at my life and agree with Josephine March, I should have been a great many things. But if I can only look back and see a common theme of steadfast obedience I think that will be a more pleasing option to the Only One I want to please.
It's not just the cold though, mind you, it's a multitude of things weighing in on a discontent soul. Decisions, circumstances, dreams, desires, talents, responsibility, experience, and hopes--all these things that I know are within the hand of a sovereign God, but feel so heavy in the hand of me. My favorite line from this favorite movie, "I should have been a great many things, Mr. Major," is the line that comes most quickly to my lips these days when presented with question we are all asked from kindergarten on.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
It takes a different shape these days, since graduation is the change most pressing on my schedule. Sometimes it is accompanied by the wish that I should just come home; other times it is accompanied by the encouragement to explore the world and all its depths. A few times it has been sidled next to a exhortation to hear the Lord; sometimes its only companion is a nod and a smile--the questioner has been in these same shoes before.
It's not that I don't know the things that I want, I do. I have clear ideas and plan Bs and Cs and a plethora of options and intentions galore. It's that I've learned the hard way that my plans are rarely God's plans and hardly ever the things I end up doing anyway. It is easier now to, like David, pick up five stones and trust that one will do the job.
But today's job is singular, and tomorrow's too: To do the will of my Father. Perhaps someday I will look back at my life and agree with Josephine March, I should have been a great many things. But if I can only look back and see a common theme of steadfast obedience I think that will be a more pleasing option to the Only One I want to please.
"God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious." Oswald Chambers
posted by Lore at 23.12.06
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