A montage worthy of nothing but reading in your daily perusal of weblogs and other electronic fixes:
I have a favorite CD, Liturgy, Legacy, and a Ragamuffin Band, and I've been listening to a few songs from it on repeat the past few days. The writing is spectacular; I think that every time I hear a Rich Mullins song, especially now, though, since I've a new respect for this man who sold everything and lived with the paupers, a modern monk. Today song of choice talks about earth and heaven and how much we long for earth in the belief that it brings hope and satisfaction and peace, when all it really is is a sojourn. Sheldon Van Auken wrote about it in A Severe Mercy, and I can't quote it exactly, but "One night at Magdelen we (C.S. Lewis and he) spoke about that longing for a yacht or a secluded island resort. Long for it in the belief that it will bring joy, which it never fully does, because we eventually realize all we're really longing for is God." Mullins knew that:
Nobody tells you when you get born here
How much you'll come to love it
And how you'll never belong here
So I call you my country
And I'll be lonely for my home
And I wish that I could take you there with me
The thing about it is that for all the wishing I do about earth, how much have I wished for heaven while here on earth? I don't want to long so heavily for heaven, that my taste for life is satisfied. Being all here, even while keeping the culture of heaven, is a tension I am learning acutely again.
It has been raining a full day here in Cleveland, Tennessee. We roll our pant legs and our back porch piles with wet shoes, wet umbrellas, and wet jackets. We live close enough to school that driving is taboo and besides, doesn't everyone need to walk in the rain at least once every few months? Consequently, though, people are late to classes and grumpy besides. I'm enjoying a few minutes of quiet, even while I watch the rain pour outside the window.
Shall I tell you my options? Mostly so you'll know and you won't have to ask, because I know you're all dying to know my social and academic calender. Here they are, feel free to peruse and offer advice.
Potsdam State University MA in English and Communications. Potsdam, NY. Two year program with an assistantship. Could live at home [glorious home!] and be with family.
The Salt Institute for Documentary Studies. Portland, ME. One semester graduate studies program concentrating on creative non-fiction documentary writing. could live in beautiful beautiful Maine for a semester and then transfer to another of these programs.
Goddard College. Plainfield, VT. Two year low-residency MFA creative non-fiction documentary program. Could live at home and commute once a week to VT.
Goucher College. Baltimore, MD. Two year low-residency MPA creative non-fiction documentary program. Couldn't probably live at home at all.
University of Tennessee. Chattanooga, TN. Two year resident program with assistantship. MA in English Composition. Could stay here, at my second home.
University of Vermont, Union Institute. Montpelier, VT. Two year resident program. MA in English and Rhetoic. Couldn't live at home, but could come home on the weekends [?].
Syracuse University, Syracuse, NY. Two year residency with a very nice assistantship package. MFA in creative writing. Couldn't live at home, but could come home sometimes.
I'm not going to tell you which one I'd most prefer or the order in which I place them. Those are my current options. As it stands right now, I'm definitely applying to one and waiting for a definite yes or no from the Lord on the others.
Wishing I had gone home for fall break, because even though I'm trying desperately to make heaven a more appealing home, the reality is that home reminds me a little bit of what heaven is like. And maybe I'm all washed up, and maybe you think I'm too melodramatic and ought to concentrate on better things, but really honestly and truly, it's hard to be here sometimes when my heart is there.
I have a favorite CD, Liturgy, Legacy, and a Ragamuffin Band, and I've been listening to a few songs from it on repeat the past few days. The writing is spectacular; I think that every time I hear a Rich Mullins song, especially now, though, since I've a new respect for this man who sold everything and lived with the paupers, a modern monk. Today song of choice talks about earth and heaven and how much we long for earth in the belief that it brings hope and satisfaction and peace, when all it really is is a sojourn. Sheldon Van Auken wrote about it in A Severe Mercy, and I can't quote it exactly, but "One night at Magdelen we (C.S. Lewis and he) spoke about that longing for a yacht or a secluded island resort. Long for it in the belief that it will bring joy, which it never fully does, because we eventually realize all we're really longing for is God." Mullins knew that:
Nobody tells you when you get born here
How much you'll come to love it
And how you'll never belong here
So I call you my country
And I'll be lonely for my home
And I wish that I could take you there with me
The thing about it is that for all the wishing I do about earth, how much have I wished for heaven while here on earth? I don't want to long so heavily for heaven, that my taste for life is satisfied. Being all here, even while keeping the culture of heaven, is a tension I am learning acutely again.
It has been raining a full day here in Cleveland, Tennessee. We roll our pant legs and our back porch piles with wet shoes, wet umbrellas, and wet jackets. We live close enough to school that driving is taboo and besides, doesn't everyone need to walk in the rain at least once every few months? Consequently, though, people are late to classes and grumpy besides. I'm enjoying a few minutes of quiet, even while I watch the rain pour outside the window.
Shall I tell you my options? Mostly so you'll know and you won't have to ask, because I know you're all dying to know my social and academic calender. Here they are, feel free to peruse and offer advice.
Potsdam State University MA in English and Communications. Potsdam, NY. Two year program with an assistantship. Could live at home [glorious home!] and be with family.
The Salt Institute for Documentary Studies. Portland, ME. One semester graduate studies program concentrating on creative non-fiction documentary writing. could live in beautiful beautiful Maine for a semester and then transfer to another of these programs.
Goddard College. Plainfield, VT. Two year low-residency MFA creative non-fiction documentary program. Could live at home and commute once a week to VT.
Goucher College. Baltimore, MD. Two year low-residency MPA creative non-fiction documentary program. Couldn't probably live at home at all.
University of Tennessee. Chattanooga, TN. Two year resident program with assistantship. MA in English Composition. Could stay here, at my second home.
University of Vermont, Union Institute. Montpelier, VT. Two year resident program. MA in English and Rhetoic. Couldn't live at home, but could come home on the weekends [?].
Syracuse University, Syracuse, NY. Two year residency with a very nice assistantship package. MFA in creative writing. Couldn't live at home, but could come home sometimes.
I'm not going to tell you which one I'd most prefer or the order in which I place them. Those are my current options. As it stands right now, I'm definitely applying to one and waiting for a definite yes or no from the Lord on the others.
Wishing I had gone home for fall break, because even though I'm trying desperately to make heaven a more appealing home, the reality is that home reminds me a little bit of what heaven is like. And maybe I'm all washed up, and maybe you think I'm too melodramatic and ought to concentrate on better things, but really honestly and truly, it's hard to be here sometimes when my heart is there.
posted by Lore at 27.10.06
5 Comments:
Again you are forgetting about the McDonalds on route 11 in Calcium. They are now hiring for ALL shifts. Opportunity is knocking. Will you answer the door?
-and, NO, we weren't ignoring your call. We were plain ole' not home. (concert, etc)
I arose early to put the pieces together around here. The scheduling has been too tight for my taste. In the swirl of activity, the well needs to be filled.
I read your list. I never knew Potsdam was an the radar! How tempting for me to zero in on it.
that's all. for now.
Aren't random trips down memory lane amazing? I looked at my old journal (diegeiro) for the first time in years and then wondered what you are up to and run straight into one of my favorite moments in music from one of my favorite CDs...
Sometimes they do tell you, but you don't really believe you could confuse the greys for color...then one day you look around and you don't remember color.
Nicole--McDonalds doesn't know what they're missing when they turn down my application to work there. I tell you, I've tried, I've tried.
Nan--Potsdam is ALWAYS on the radar. Whether it is a possibility is another story, but on the radar nonetheless.
Trying to remember color now. easier said than done.
Maybe the colors can't be remembered once they are gone. Maybe we can only remember that they existed once and we can try to find them again. Maybe they are only there to be seen in the now, and not to be captured in the past.
Good to hear you are still looking. Its amazing how twisted the road can be.
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