I always mean to make this little piece of the World Wide Web not too much of a personal outlet and more of a personal pulpit. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail. I let people know what's going on in the deep recesses of my heart and sometimes I regret it, sometimes I don't. I tell people of the flightiness of my soul and sometimes I can't believe I'm so easily swayed by fables and foibles, sometimes I wish I were more easily moved.

On that note, a few things of note:

I went home for spring break expecting cold, expecting friends, and expecting to rest. I got all three and some other things too. I got a word from the Lord, or maybe just perceptions from the Lord. Whatever. I don't know what it was but it was from the Lord. It was peace and assurance. It was rest and a renewal of trust. I'm not sure why, He didn't meet me on some great mountain-top or rescue me from some deep valley while home; He just assured me in inumerable ways of His faithfulness to me.

That said. I'll be staying in Tennessee this summer. I know that's disappointing to some of you, namely almost all of you, but I really feel like I need to be a good stewart of my time and by staying here and taking classes this summer it will enable me to do one of two things:
1. Take 22 credits this fall and graduate in December.
2. Take 13 credits this fall and 13 credits in the Spring and graduate next Spring.
While 1. sounds very tempting, it also sounds very tiring, but it means being done sooner. 2. sounds perfect though and it will enable to me focus on church and my job as a Resident Assistant more excellently. So. I'm terribly sorry to disappoint all my lovely friends abiding in New York, but I'll be sweating it out with the best of them in humid Tennessee this summer.

That said. Whenever I go home and get refreshed in the Lord and in the place where my feet feel most firmly planted I feel like I come back with renewed expectations for what the Lord will do in my life while I'm here. Sometimes that means deciding to spend more time on my studies. ometimes that means building new or different relationships. Sometimes it means just a refocus on the right priorities. I feel like all three of those areas have been touched in the past three days since coming back down here.

1. I met with one of my professors today. I met with him because I'm desperate to not get a B in his class and am presently hovering on the precipice of that dreaded B. But it's not just the B I don't want, it's the loss of a scholarship that B signifies. By the time I'd left his office ten minutes later I had tears smarting in my eyes and a refreshed respect for the professors here. He said, basically, to not worry about my grade, I'm doing better than fine, and then moved on to more important things, like my future plans and my personality pitfalls. For nine and a half minutes he spoke truth and life into my life. I'm one of 300 students and he knows my name. Not only that, but he knows my job[s], my academic load this semester, and my insistance on perfection until that pre-testday meltdown. And he spoke to all of those things and helped me to see the Lord's goodness and His provision amidst the business of it all. A reworking of academic priorities.

2. A few new friends and reworking of old ones.

• She and I went home for spring break together, and while we've been friends since last semester, I don't think I truly appreciated her fully until the past week. And even though she thinks I only value her for her great taste in style, she's wrong. I value her for a lot more than that.
• We used to see each other almost every day, but that class has ended and now we only see each other a few times a week, always promising to see one another more. We rarely do. We are busy people. But every time we do see one another our eyes light up and we can't stop talking about what's new and what's old and what the Lord is doing and when we get together but all the reasons we can't. I love her.

Before I came to Lee one of the things on my pro-list from Pastor Rick was "Going to Lee will expand your circle" and it's cool to watch that happen. A rebuilding or reworking of new or existing relationships.

3. I looked at my schedule today. It's busy to be sure. I never dropped the class I said I was going to at the beginning of the semester and I'm feeling those 19 hours heavy around my person faily heavily, but I also feel the grace of God on my studies and it makes it okay. Being an RA has been a little difficult from the start; I don't know whether it was the middle of the year entrance, or the fact that we live in apartments instead of dorms, I'm not sure. But giving the girls toilet paper and checking their fire alarms a couple times a month seemed a great disappointment to me at first. But tonight, stealing a couple of minutes after college and career group was over, I visited a few apartments and meshed with a few girls. One of the yelled as I was leaving "You're the best RA ever!" I smiled and said thanks. But really I meant Thank-you-very-much-you-have-no-idea-how-much-that-means-you're-the-best-thing-that's-ever-happened-to-me-and-the-reason-I'm-an-RA. That's what I really meant. God blessed us when we put the right priorities first.

So basically this is just a little update. A little sharing of my heart. It's not prettily written and probably could use some of those editing skills I've been paying $16,000 a year to learn, but it's also late and I just wanted to share what Lore's life looks like on paper.

I'm happy. Deliriously happy. People keep asking me why I'm so happy, and really, I haven't got a good answer. I just really love the Lord and keep seeing His faithfulness in every aspect of my life, I know some of the best people in the world, I go to an incredible school, I'm blessed by not one, but two amazing churches 20 hours apart, and the Lord speaks to me. He blesses me by His presence.

That said.
The unresolved bells are resolving with twelve chimes, and this person needs to put her head to bed.