I have to make good on my promise, if only for the reason that he made good on his.

So the man who needs no introduction, but to whom we'll give one anyway -- second to none in wit and unexpected humor from the guy who wears easter colors and golf berets, who can freestyle drinking coke sounds, convincingly call a lobster his baby, religiously tout his Jewishness around like the tallit he's never worn religiously, poke fun at his professors, his friends, himself and do so with hilarity and respect, I give you the man who has so many names in his name than he's not sure how to spell one of them: Jason Allen Churchill Thorburne Morris.