A friend asked what those halves were the other day. One is an oft confessed half, everyone knows it's my weakness of all weaknesses. I am most convicted about it and most reticent to change it in my life, and I'm coming to the realization recently that it has less to do with who I am and who I want to be.

Christ has called us to what the world would call pauperhood; He has demanded a heart of servitude of us, holding before us the "Well done" prize; He has asked for flexibility of spirit and attitude, a dropping of nets and immediately following, and yet there is a constant reticence in us to cling to those things which form our worldly identity.

I am not unwilling to give up my love for constancy and consistency -- I am unwilling to give up my identity in such. I would rather cling to the rags of the American Dream, and the seeming safety it affords, than to relinquish my spirit to flexibility of circumstances. The knowledge that it means I would begin to live a lifestyle unhindered by fears of whether the Lord's hand is on my life or not is not even enough to propel me forward. So I sit, in a trough of swine food and unchangeableness, unmotivated to run home and give up the thing I think is my inheritance, or my lot, and clinging to a Father who would give up his finest to ensure that I was properly cared for.

A Father who has given up His Finest to ensure that I have been, and will continue to be, properly cared for.