Instant peace, albeit somewhat undesired, is usually a positive sign of surety. The changes that life demands of us are so hard to reconcile, at times, with the ideals we have nurtured in our minds. Weighing choices that are neither good nor bad, right or wrong, but both and neither at the same time, is so difficult, so beyond my minds capability. This is why the Holy Spirit has graciously offered Its presence in my life. I am ever grateful for it and still sometimes confused at the necessity of it; if things just went the way I thought they ought, I'd never have need of counsel, direction or gentle whispers. Thank God the way I think they ought is most times the wrong fork in the road and the Holy Spirit faithfully sends a Do Not Enter sign, in bright orange, blocking my entrance.

Then peace, the kind which passes all understanding, beyond my control, beyond my reasoning, beyond my desires of perfection, reaches down through the muddled mess of life, or at least my life at present, and gently scoops up the remaining rags of a robe I've tried to weave myself and places them back on a loom of unexpected circumstances to create a garment of not perfection, but protection.

I sigh in relief.

I offer thanksgiving.

I am in awe.

So many phone calls tonight. The proof of friendship lies not in companionship, not in comrade, not in commonness but in the sole facet of selflessness. I find more and more that my truest and most trusted friends are those whom I do not need constant reminders of their friend status from, but those who rejoice when I rejoice and mourn when I mourn, those who understand the importance of meaningless things to others and those who buy me chai. Perhaps not the last, but chai represents a piece of friendship to me. Isn't that silly?

I have precious friends. I am blessed beyond what I could ask or imagine. I say this not to prove to you all who read this that you are my friends and that I love you, only that I am humbled, I am truly humbled, to be counted as someone you care to care about. I am amazed that I have been chosen as one to which you choose to be selfless towards. I stand in wonder that you concern yourself with the things that concern me.

Thank you.