Impassioned with, what is it? A sense of duty? I wish for things to just be right? And why shouldn't they be? Aren't we supposed to living a victorious life? Aren't we supposed to knowing grace? Aren't we supposed to living life fully centric on Christ and His desire for us? And isn't His desire to give good and perfect gifts to His children? So why are those who live fully immersed in growth and a passionate pursuit of Him so surrounded by pain?

While dealing with the aftermath of Drew's death Michael said to me, "I will not rob you of your sufferings." I didn't understand the significance of that statement until much later when I knew that is was pain and all that it encompasses that we finally learn to lean on the arms that promise to hold us, and really are the only arms that could. But so often I just want to rob others of their sufferings - forgetting for an instant that that would be robbing them of the chance to choose to grow.

But why is pain such a part of life? Simply rhetorical, but it sure is the cry of my heart.

In the Airport in Tokyo I saw some Hagaan Dazs ice cream; the first real ice cream I'd seen since leaving my home country. I went to the little stand up freezer and went to pick out a little six ounce container of ice cream apparently priced at the exorbitant amount of two dollars to entice Westerners who are feeling the lack. Hoping to find some chocolate, since I figured that Mint Chocolate Chip would be a hard deal to come by, I found myself sadly dismayed at the sight of Vanilla, Strawberry and Green Tea favors only.

Yes. That's right. I said Green Tea. I tilted my head to one side and weighed the cost. I knew that the two dollars were already going to be spent. I'd decided that before I walked over, but here was another whole paradigm to my tunnel vision eyes to my stomach. Green Tea? I love green tea. At home there might as well be a intravenous connection to my insides. But Green Tea Hagaan Dozs? This is a whole new spectrum. I finally decide that once in my lifetime I must try something new, and really, green tea in itself was new to me once too. I spend the two dollars [duty free I might add] and head back to my seat.

As I peeled back the cardboard layer covering it I spied a spinach color not unlike Split Pea Soup. Split Pea Soup, my friends, is quite a good meal. I like a bowl of it occasionally, but Split Pea Soup colored ice cream is not my idea of delicacies. I daringly scooped out a mouthful and distastefully passed the six ounce cup of Split Pea Soup colored ice cream on to almost ever member of our team before disposing of it in the trash can.

The moral of the story is: Don't try anything new, even if is cherry flavored.

And don't eat Green Tea Hagaan Dozs Ice Cream.

Little fills my love tank like books. Today I went to Birch Bark Books and bought:
The Wild Birds - Wendell Berry
New Seeds of Contemplation - Thomas Merton
Sketches From A Life - George Kennen
An Arrow Pointing To Heaven - James Bryan Smith
Many Waters - Madeleine L'engle
The Door In The Wall - Marguerite de Angeli
Hangmans Holiday - Dorothy Sayers
The Five Red Herrings - Dorothy Sayers

Am quite happy with these finds.

[Also found, and this might be of interest to one of you, hordes of Countryside back issues for 25 apiece.]

But it's just too bad that books can't love you back.