Tonight I am sitting here and looking at my brother. The one who shares the middle name and the same face of a brother he never knew, and I am remembering that first brother. How had I known when he was three of four that I would only know him until age 14, I would have treasured the momemts more. No, not just treasured. I would have captured. A treasure runs out, but something that is captured in your mind and heart never leaves.

I look at the other brothers and wonder if today will be our last day together and yet, sometimes, I overlook this and still point at their faults and belittle them with my mind and my callous hurtful words. Not appreciating the things about them that I will never remember about Drew. Never remember, not because they weren't memorable, but because I didn't care to notice the things that made him who he was. Not just my younger brother, but a person, an individual with dreams and hopes and desires and a personality not like anyone elses.

And I missed him. Missed him for the brother who shares so much with him, but will never know except by our words and memories. Missed him for the times I wish I had held back and refused the heated words that reared in an ugly moment. Repented for the times I didn't. Missed him.